Mother Hen
by LoZfan86
Summary: It's Mother's Day, and the Greil Mercenaries want to do something nice for Titania, who's always been like a maternal figure for them. Will everything go as planned? One-shot.


**A/N: Hiya readers! Alright, I know what you're thinking. "But LoZfan86, we voted on your next one-shot, and this one did NOT win!" I realize that, and I apologize if any of you were really looking forward to Character Swap. I tried writing that one, I really did. But eventually I ran into too many problems and it got super complicated, almost to the point where even I couldn't understand it anymore. So yeah...I decided to write the second place story instead. I might try to rewrite Character Swap if I can get some better ideas, but until then, I hope this one suffices. I got this idea from a PoR support conversation between Titania and Boyd that made me laugh hysterically. I just thought it was hilarious how Boyd called her a 'really nice mom!' :P I spent almost two weeks on this story, which is the longest I've ever worked on a one-shot, and it's pretty lengthy. I'm really hoping I won't disappoint people. Alrighty then, on with the story! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem. All characters you recognize belong to Nintendo/Intelligent Systems.**

* * *

Mother's Day was not a commonly celebrated holiday amongst Greil's Mercenaries. The main reason for this was because there were no mothers in their group. In fact, the only mature woman was Titania, and she didn't have any children, or even a husband, for that matter. Mia could've been considered mature in body-something Gatrie seemed to take notice of more than anyone else-but in mind, she was more of a rebellious teenager. As a result, the mercenaries never really had the need to celebrate the holiday. Until one Mother's Day, thick-headed Boyd had a doozy of an idea.

The day started off like any other. The mercenaries were all in the mess hall eating breakfast, with the exception of Titania and Mist, who had gone out earlier to pick berries. Ike, Boyd, and Gatrie were shoveling their bacon and eggs down their gullets, as usual. Oscar was in the kitchen, humming softly and making more food for the ravenous fighters. Shinon had his head laid down on the table, trying to recover from a nasty hangover. Of course, he didn't get much accomplished because Mia was busy talking his ear off. Rhys ate slowly, for he had been ill the previous day and didn't want to upset his stomach. Soren feebly picked at his meal while reading a book, trying to ignore Boyd's obnoxiously loud chewing. Rolf was determined to eat as much as his older brother, so he had grabbed two helpings instead of one, and was almost beating Boyd in terms of devouring. Boyd noticed this, and hastily shoved his little brother's head forward into his breakfast.

"Hey! You big meanie!" Rolf whined, pulling his moss-colored head up from the plate. His face was covered in egg remains. As he wiped the goo off of his face, he cried for his eldest brother. "Oscar! Boyd got me all egg-y!"

"Heavenly Ashera! Will there ever be a day when you two act your age?" Oscar commented, coming out of the kitchen wearing a frilly, pink apron that Mist had made for him. Rolf couldn't help but snicker at the sight of him. Oscar gave him a look, one of those "I'm the oldest, and you _will_ listen to me" looks, and Rolf immediately quieted down.

"Well sorry, _mom_!" Boyd teased. Suddenly, a light bulb lit up inside his rather empty head. "Hey, I just realized what day it is! And I have the greatest idea ever!" he said, suddenly quite cheerful. "Does anybody follow me?"

Everyone looked at Boyd quizzically and there was a brief silence in the room, as no one knew what made this particular day so special. "If we _did_ follow you, we'd all by six feet underground by now," Soren muttered in his usual apathetic tone.

"Ignoring that," Boyd said, shooting Soren a glare that proved he actually didn't ignore the jab. "Anyway, I just realized that today is Mother's Day!" Again, he was met with silence.

"Yeah?" Shinon croaked, slowly lifting his head up. His face was tinted an awful green color. "What's your point?" Boyd's glare quickly transferred to the hung-over sniper.

Ike swallowed the food he was chewing and began to speak. "Boyd, I think what Shinon means to say is why are you so excited about a holiday that we never even acknowledge?" He leaned back in his chair and threw his hands behind his head.

Boyd was determined to get his brilliant idea across to everybody. "Well, it's just that I was thinking about Titania a little bit ago-"

"Oh, goddess!" Shinon blurted out. He made a disgusted face and dropped his head to the table again.

"Not like that, Shinon!" Boyd shouted at him. He then continued his story. "Well, do you guys remember the one time when I accidentally told her she was like a really nice mom?"

The mercenaries all giggled, save for Soren, who shook his head in annoyance. "Oh yeah, she told us about that one!" Mia managed to get out in between laughs. "I swear, Boyd, of all the stupid things you've done-"

"That's not the point!" Boyd shouted, getting frustrated by the fact that no one was taking him seriously. "I was just thinking," he continued, regaining his composure. "She does so much for us around here, and in a way, she really _is_ like a nice mom. And today's Mother's Day, so maybe we could just...I don't know..."

Mia's expression brightened up instantly. "Now I know what you're getting at, Boyd! We should all do something extra special for her today!" This comment earned a groan from Shinon.

"She's not going to like that," he said. "She'll probably yell at us for wasting valuable training time."

"It's actually a very nice idea," Oscar encouraged, smiling his usual squinty-eyed smile. "I mean, the younger ones are kind of like her children." He gestured to Ike, Boyd, Soren, Mia, and Rolf.

"Yeah," Rolf piped up. "When Mist and I were little, she used to always read us bedtime stories, and she and Mist took turns braiding each other's hair." He smiled at the fond memory of Titania's strong, feminine voice lulling him to sleep.

"That's true," Ike spoke up. "And she practically raised Mist and myself in place of our mother."

"I'll admit she's been very kind to me also," Soren added. "Even though I'm younger and have less experience on the battlefield, she's never once failed to acknowledge my tactics."

"She's always willing to lend me a hand when I train," Boyd said. "That, and she makes sure I don't slack off."

Everyone stared at Mia, waiting for her to share. She looked at each of them and shrugged her shoulders. "Do I even have to say it? She gives me advice with my 'girl issues.'"

"Gross!" Rolf exclaimed, trying to hold down his breakfast. Everyone else shuddered.

"So what you're saying is," Ike began, after he had recovered from the horrid mental image, "that we should throw her a party or something?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying!" Boyd said, grinning from ear to ear. "She'll be so surprised!"

"That's very thoughtful of you, Boyd," Rhys said, smiling. "What should we do?"

And it was here that Boyd's brilliance came to an end. He looked at each of the mercenaries, hoping someone, anyone, would throw out an idea.

"I could bake a cake," Oscar offered. "But someone will need to go into town and get me some flour. I ran out this morning."

"Rolf and I can do that," Mia said, raising her hand, and Rolf's also.

"We'll also need someone to distract Titania, granted we aren't telling her about this affair," Soren suggested. "I couldn't do it, because she'll know immediately that something is going on."

"Right," Ike said. "We'll need someone with a very short attention span..." Everyone turned their heads until their eyes rested on Boyd, who was contently nibbling on a strip of bacon.

"Oh, come on! My attention span isn't that sh-OH LOOK, A SQUIRREL!" Boyd ran over to the window to gawk at the furry little animal that ran past.

"Yep, that'll be Boyd's job," Gatrie said. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

"We should come up with some kind of a signal too, so we know when Titania's entering the fort," Rhys suggested. "Boyd, can you make a realistic bird call? Like a crow maybe?"

Boyd's head snapped back to the center of the room at the sound of his name. "Sure thing, Rhys," he said. "I'll give you a little sample." Boyd then cleared his throat, and belted out the most revolting bird sound that anyone had ever heard.

"Alright!" Ike shouted, covering his ears. "That'll do. And remember, we can't tell Titania," he said, staring everybody down. "Which means we'll have to make sure Mist understands this when she gets back..."

* * *

"Oscar! Gatrie! What in Tellius is going on?" Mist exclaimed. Oscar and Gatrie had taken the liberty of informing Mist on the subject of Titania's party. Mist was a chatty one, so they needed to make sure she wouldn't squeal and ruin the surprise. Fluidly and stealthily, they grabbed her by the arm when she entered the fort and dragged her into the kitchen. At the moment, she was being held down in a chair. "And what do you think you're doing with that ladle?"

Oscar looked down at his hands, only to realize that he was pointing said kitchen utensil at Mist. "Oh, sorry," he said, and put the ladle back on the countertop. "Now, you're probably wondering why we brought you in here."

"Uh, yeah!" Mist said testily. She struggled to get out of Gatrie's iron grip, but to no avail.

"Listen carefully, Mist," Oscar said quietly. "Today is Mother's Day, so Boyd had the idea to throw a party for Titania-"

"A party!" Mist exclaimed, surely loud enough for the whole fort to hear.

"Shhh!" Oscar and Gatrie hushed her at the same time. Oscar covered her mouth with his hand.

"It's a surprise, so we can't tell her about it, ya hear?" Gatrie said. Mist nodded her head rapidly, and Oscar dropped his hand. "Good girl, run along now," Gatrie smiled and patted her on the head. Mist wasted no time and bounded out of the kitchen, half skipping.

* * *

"Good grief! You'd think that such a widely used ingredient like flour would be easier to find in a marketplace!" Mia complained. She and Rolf arrived in the nearest village an hour ago, and had been searching for flour ever since.

"Um, maybe we could try the bakery?" Rolf suggested. Frankly, he'd been wanting to suggest it for a while now, but Mia wasn't willing to listen. The moment Rolf said it, she stopped in her tracks and slowly turned on her heel. Rolf braced himself to get yelled at, but instead, Mia picked him up off his feet and hugged him.

"Rolf, you're so smart! That's a great idea!" she beamed. "Let's go." She swiftly grabbed Rolf by the hand and led him into the bakery.

"How much flour did Oscar say he needed?" Mia asked, upon entering the shop.

"Enough for six cups," Rolf answered. "Mia, are you sure you brought enough to pay for it?"

"I brought fifty gold," she said. "That should be more than enough."

Famous last words.

"Alright, your total comes to eighty gold pieces," the shopkeeper said. Both of the mercenaries' mouths dropped open in complete shock.

"Eighty?!" Mia clucked. "It's only six cups!"

"Six cups of flour goes a long way. Therefore, it's more expensive," the shopkeeper said smugly and crossed his arms over his chest.

Mia sighed. "How many can I get for fifty?"

"About three and a half," the man replied. Mia reluctantly handed him her gold and in return he handed her a small sack of flour. "Good day," he said, then went into the back of the store.

The two of them could only stare at the small bag in Mia's hands. "I sure hope Oscar can manage with this," Rolf said.

* * *

Now Ike, Soren, Gatrie, Oscar, Shinon, Rhys, and Mist were in the mess hall, decorating it with all kinds of party-ish things, which was really anything they could find lying around. They didn't throw parties, so they didn't have much of anything for decoration. Gatrie had suggested hanging some of Shinon's arrows from the ceiling, which earned him a slap in the face from the marksman. Everyone just stood around the room for a while, trying to think of something they could use.

"Oh, wait!" Oscar said after a moment. "I just remembered I've got a long piece of red fabric in my room. We could use it as a streamer or something."

"Great idea, Oscar!" Ike said. "Go get it." Oscar nodded, and ran off to retrieve the 'streamer.'

"Even if we do use that fabric as a streamer, there's no way we'll be able to hang it up there," Soren said, looking up at the high ceiling.

"We've got a ladder somewhere around here," Ike said. "You should go and get it, Gatrie."

"Yes, sir!" Gatrie saluted, then he ran off to go and get the ladder. Ike smiled satisfactorily. He liked being the boss.

Moments later, Oscar returned with the fabric and Gatrie returned with the ladder. He set it down gently in the middle of the room, and they all just stared at it. In simple terms, the ladder was crap. It was horribly off-balance, only standing on three of its legs. The wood looked awful too. It was very jagged and uneven in several places.

"It looks like termites might've gotten to it," Rhys said, inspecting the dilapidated structure. "It seems very unsafe to stand on."

"Well, we have to get that streamer up somehow," Oscar said. "I'll do it." The moment Oscar set both feet on the ladder, it buckled and threatened to collapse. The mercenaries gasped, and Oscar hurried back down to the floor. "Clearly, we need someone lighter."

"What about Rhys?" Gatrie suggested. Surprisingly, it was Shinon who spoke for the fragile healer.

"Nah, not Rhys. If he falls, he might die." Rhys looked like he was about to protest, but instead dropped his head in defeat.

"You're probably right," he admitted sadly.

"I can't do it. I'm afraid of heights!" Mist squeaked. As a last resort, everyone looked to Soren.

"Oh no!" he said, making large gestures with his hands. "You're not putting me on that old thing!"

"But there's nothing to you!" Ike assured. "Nobody else can do it. Come on. You'll be just fine." He grabbed Soren's hand and pulled him over to the ladder. Soren struggled, but it was no use.

"You're not scared, are you, whelp?" Shinon jested with a sly smile.

"No!" Soren spat, giving Shinon a death glare. That was all the fuel he needed to perform the task. Soren was much too prideful to suffer a blow from the likes of Shinon. Carefully, he set one foot on the ladder, and then the other. The ladder wobbled a bit, but not as much as when Oscar stepped on it. Soren inhaled a deep breath, then continued to slowly make his way up the steps. When he finally reached the top, he breathed a sigh of relief. "Alright Oscar," he said. "Hand me the cloth." Oscar reached up and extended the fabric to Soren. Just as he was about to grab it, the door to the mess hall flung open and crashed against the wall. Hard. The ladder began to sway, and Soren quickly lost his balance. In his effort to regain it, the step he was standing on broke, and the sage toppled over onto the ground. He landed with his left arm bent the wrong way, and a clear, crisp cracking noise resounded throughout the mess hall.

"AAAHHHHHH!" Soren screamed in pain, clutching his arm. Ike and Rhys immediately rushed over to him. Rhys carefully rolled up Soren's sleeve to examine his arm.

"Ooooh, that's gotta hurt!" Gatrie said, turning his head away.

"I'm afraid it's broken, Soren," Rhys said. "Pretty badly at that. Even with my staff, it'll probably take a week to heal."

Shinon leaned up against the wall and smirked. "Maybe if you had a little more meat on you..."

"You are treading on very thin ice!" Soren yelled at him, instantly regretting his choice of words. By that time, Shinon was almost laughing out loud. Extremely perturbed, Soren went back to cradling his arm.

Mia, who was the one who opened the door and caused the accident in the first place, ran over to Soren. "Oh my! I'm so sorry! I was just angry because this rude shopkeeper only gave me three and a half cups of flour and I-"

"You only got three and a half cups of flour?!" Oscar cried. "Mia, how am I supposed to bake a cake that calls for six cups with only three and a half?"

"I don't know! I'm not a baker!" Mia argued. "Look, I'm sure you'll figure something out."

"You think so, huh?" Oscar said sarcastically. Everyone gawked at the scene. When Oscar got sarcastic, which only happened once in a blue moon, you knew he was mad. He snatched the bag out of Mia's hand and stormed off into the kitchen, muttering incoherently under his breath.

* * *

"Oh, hi Boyd. What brings you out here?" Titania asked. She was brushing her horse in the stables when the axe fighter came running over to her. "You need a sparring partner? I'd love to help you, but I'm grooming Majesty at the moment."

"Oh, no that's not why I came out here," Boyd said quickly, trying to come up with a reasonable answer. He was beginning to wish he didn't have this job, because in truth, he was very bad at coming up with excuses on the spot. "I just...um...wanted to talk to you?" Titania scrunched her face up into a puzzled look. She set her currycomb on the fence next to her and turned to face Boyd.

"Since when do you just want to talk to me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Boyd looked everywhere around the room, except at her. It was painfully obvious that he knew something she didn't. Titania didn't press him for information, however, just turned around and went back to brushing her horse.

Boyd floundered for a topic to chat with her about. He needed to keep her in the stables and away from the fort until everyone was finished with the preparations. He looked down at his hands and twiddled his thumbs. A few minutes of awkward silence passed before he finally said something. "So, how about this weather?"

"Alright, what's going on?" Titania asked impatiently and turned towards him again. "Obviously, there's something you want. Out with it then. What is it?" She laid her hands on her hips and waited for his answer.

"Umm..." Boyd was at a total loss. He had to tell her something. Anything. Without even thinking, he randomly blurted out, "there's a wild dog in the fort!"

"What?!" Titania sputtered. "Boyd! Why didn't you tell me earlier! Come on, we have to get everything under control!" Titania then grabbed Boyd's hand and began pulling him in the direction of the fort.

"No! Wait! That's not what I-" Boyd attempted, but it was no use. As they got closer to the fort, he frantically made his 'bird' call. "CA-CAW!"

Titania looked up at the sky, not able to discern where the noise came from, even though Boyd was directly behind her. "That sounds like a really ugly bird," she commented. If the situation were not so dire, Boyd might've been angry. As they approached the door to the fort, rustling noises could be heard, as well as items getting knocked over and breaking. "That wild dog must be stirring up quite a bit of trouble," Titania said.

"...yeah..." Boyd replied nervously.

* * *

"She's coming!" Gatrie yelled. The mercenaries all scrambled for a hiding place as they heard the signal. Ike took refuge underneath the table, along with Rolf and Rhys. Oscar decided to climb into a nearby coat closet. Mia had to fight with Soren, whose arm was carefully tied up in a sling, over a spot behind a kitchen cabinet. She won. Defeated, Soren retreated underneath the table as well. Mist used her diminutive stature to her advantage and hid inside an empty sack of potatoes. Gatrie panicked a little before he finally found a good spot behind a door. Shinon groaned, not wanting to play this childish game. Eventually, he joined the group underneath the table. The doorknob jiggled, and they all held their breath as it slowly opened. Titania's scarlet head peaked into the room. She had her axe in her hand, ready to bludgeon the fictitious wild dog if needed.

"Boyd, what's going on?" she asked, after taking a few steps into the room. "There's no dog in here." She paused for a moment, looking around the room. "And where is everybody else?"

"Now!" Boyd yelled, and Titania looked at him as though he'd gone mad.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone shouted, coming out of their hiding places. Titania's hand flew to her chest and she let out a small yelp. For a moment, she could only gape at them all, shock clearly written all over her face.

"Happy Mother's Day, Titania!" Ike said. "Oscar, go get the cake!"

Oscar's happy expression suddenly turned gloomy. "If you say so," he said, heading into the kitchen. Titania was still at a loss for words. Finally, she found her voice again.

"Ike, what's this all about?" she asked. Her tone of voice wasn't joyous, but it wasn't upset, either.

"It was Boyd's idea, actually," Ike explained. "He suggested that instead of ignoring the holiday like we usually do, we throw a surprise party for you instead."

"We spent the entire morning planning this for you," Rolf said softly, his eyes to the floor. "But nothing turned out right." It was at that moment when Oscar came out of the kitchen with the 'cake.'

"Is that...for me?" Titania asked, moving in to get a closer look at it as Oscar set it on the table. It was a pathetic excuse for a cake, really. It about an inch thick on the left side, and four inches thick on the right. The whole thing appeared to be very lopsided. No one would ever have believed that Oscar made it.

"That's actually a really thick layer of frosting," Oscar said, pointing to it. "It was as flat as a pancake on the one side." He glanced at Mia, and if his eyes weren't closed all the time, he would've been staring daggers. "That's what happens when you don't have enough flour."

"Hey! I said I was sorry, didn't I?" Mia protested.

"Oh, Oscar..." Titania started.

"And we tried decorating the place, too," Gatrie added. "But as you can see, that didn't go well either." He gestured to the broken ladder, and then to Soren's broken arm. Titania's expression turned hysterical again.

"Oh my!" Her hands quickly covered her mouth.

"It's okay," Soren said. "It looks worse than it feels." But even as he said that, he winced a little at the pain.

"We're sorry, Titania," Boyd apologized. "We just wanted to make you happy, but all we did was make a mess of things." Everybody else hung their heads and murmured apologies as well. They were all expecting the Deputy Commander to yell at them, but instead, she did something that she almost never did. She broke down and cried. The mercenaries looked to each other, not really prepared for this kind of reaction.

"Titania," Ike said, gently putting his hand on her shoulder. "We're so sorry."

"No...it's not that," Titania sniffled, wiping her eyes. "I'm not angry or sad or anything like that." She lifted her head up and kindly looked upon all her comrades. Her green eyes sparkled vividly. "I'm happy. These are happy tears."

The mercenaries stole puzzled glances at each other, utterly confused. "What?" Ike asked.

"I've never been a mother, and I probably never will be," she began. "But I've learned something over the years." She wiped her eyes again. "I don't have to have children that are blood related to me in order to be a mother. You all have shown me that. Especially you two." She looked to Ike and Mist.

"You're the only mother I've ever known, Titania," Mist said, tears leaking from her eyes. "I love you." She ran up to the red-haired paladin and embraced her in a warm hug. Titania was surprised at first, but she hugged her back.

"I watched both of you grow up," she said, and the tears were flowing again. "And my, you've grown so strong." She motioned for Ike to join in their hug, and he was more than willing to do so.

"You too, Boyd. And Rolf as well," Titania smiled at the two boys. "Come over here." The boys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and joined in the love-fest as well. "Oh, but I think I'm missing someone," Titania said. They broke away from the hug for a moment and turned to face Soren. "I know you don't particularly like hugs," Titania said softly, approaching the young sage. "But would you permit it just this once?"

"I'd be disobeying your orders if I didn't," Soren replied. It was kind of an awkward hug. Almost robotic, really. But it was still a hug. And when Titania finally had her arms around Soren, she didn't let go for a long time. When she finally did, she saw a warmth in Soren's eyes that she'd never seen before.

"Happy Mother's Day, Titania!" Ike said again, and everyone else repeated it.

"You guys," Titania chuckled. Never in her life had anyone done something like this for her, and she was sure that this warm and fuzzy feeling that she had would never go away. They thought of her as a mother, and that was all she needed. Delighted, she joined everyone at the table, and they all happily ate the cake, no matter how terrible it looked. _It's the thought that counts, anyway,_ Titania gathered, knowing that today would be a day she'd never forget.

* * *

**A/N: Awwwww! They're so sweet! Like one, big, happy family! :D Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, don't forget to favorite and review! So, I'll probably get a couple more chapters of ToR written before I do another one-shot. I already have my next one planned out, and I'm super excited to get working on it! See you guys real soon! :)**


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